Story Title: Shattered Memories
Author: 13nz
Status: On-Going
Reviewer: Juliada3
*Note: I am not prejudiced toward the author or their fanfic in any way, this review is purely objective and is intended to help the author in becoming a better writer.*
Title: 5/5
Your title is pretty good, it is a little mysterious, but also describes the story well.
Your title is pretty good, it is a little mysterious, but also describes the story well.
Forewords: 9/10
Your forewords were really good. They described the characters and and gave a synopsis of your story.
Your forewords were really good. They described the characters and and gave a synopsis of your story.
First Impression: 8/10
My first impression was that the story and the poster matched. The title Shattered Memories indicated confusion, and the feeling of being lost, and the scattered post-its and pictures in the poster match that well. Your background was not out of place, but pretty mellow.
My first impression was that the story and the poster matched. The title Shattered Memories indicated confusion, and the feeling of being lost, and the scattered post-its and pictures in the poster match that well. Your background was not out of place, but pretty mellow.
Plot/Story line: 13/15
Your plot was pretty good. It was a little predictable in the parts where the girl forgot the guy, but they still ended up together, but that was good because otherwise we might not like the way it ended up!
Your plot was pretty good. It was a little predictable in the parts where the girl forgot the guy, but they still ended up together, but that was good because otherwise we might not like the way it ended up!
Flow: 3/5
Your flow was pretty good, not much rushing that I could tell.
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
I thought it was okay, but there was nothing that was completely new, that I had never seen before. You should work on this.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 9/15
You have several grammar problems, so maybe you could use spell check on microsoft word or something? if you want, if you really want to fix everything, you can tell me and i'll help you.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 9/15
You have several grammar problems, so maybe you could use spell check on microsoft word or something? if you want, if you really want to fix everything, you can tell me and i'll help you.
Writing Style: 6/10
Your writing style is good, but it kind of seems like you are doing script form at the same time as you are doing paragraph form. During dialogue, I don't think you need to space out each separate line. It also sometimes gets confusing since you don't put names, and I don't know which character is talking. If you take the dialogue and put it in paragraph form also and add names, it will make it easier to understand. The spacing is good, and helps people read it better.
Characterization: 7/10
Your characterization is pretty good, but for some of the other characters you could improve on their personalities. Make them come alive!
Characterization: 7/10
Your characterization is pretty good, but for some of the other characters you could improve on their personalities. Make them come alive!
Communication with Readers: 4/5
I think that the car crash and loss of memories is a pretty good thing that speaks to the readers. Also the pain of losing the one you loved is also felt by many.
I think that the car crash and loss of memories is a pretty good thing that speaks to the readers. Also the pain of losing the one you loved is also felt by many.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
This story was pretty enjoyable for me to read. Keep writing!
Subtotal: 75/100
Bonus: 2/5
Total: 77/100
