6 Best Oppas and Just Mi Review

Story Title: 6 Best Oppas and Just Mi

Author: azndomination

Link: http://winglin.net/fanfic/beastmi/

Status: Completed

Reviewer: m_girl07

*Note: This review is meant to help the writer and is not criticizing in any way=). *

Title: 4/5
-Your title set the mood for the story; it told readers that it was going to be a fun, light read=). I also liked how you played on her name!

Forewords: 10/10

-I thought your foreword was perfect! It had a character breakdown, an author’s note and a lovely preview! But the fake article was a bit confusing though because at times, it sounded like you were the one talking/fangirl-ing XD!

First Impression: 8/10

-Your story was very organized and you named everything properly. And of course, what’s a story without some pretty visuals=)? You had a poster and a great background that went well with your font colour.

Plot/Story line: 12/15

-You have mostly everything a good story should have; the background info and the most important part, the climax. I just thought the plot was a little too simple and could’ve had more going on. You have to keep readers interested so that they want to keep reading.

Flow: 4/5
-This is a one-shot but even so, you had pretty good flow=). It was only one chapter which is all I think it needed and it didn’t drag on like other ones I’ve seen that are “one-shots” but are as long as five chapters.

Creativity/Originality: 5/10
-Your idea isn’t that original. I’ve seen it done many times and it didn’t really have anything that made it different or stand out except for the fact that she’s the only girl in a guy group. But the part about debuting and anti’s has been done way too much.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 12/15
-Your spelling and grammar isn’t perfect but it isn’t bad either! (But then again, whose is?) You could improve on your vocabulary though because I think there are better words to use when it comes to certain sentences. I picked some out to show you=):

“The tv flickers on and shows the Korean/Chinese teenager who spent her training years from age 15 in America.” (Forewords)

            -You should rearrange this sentence so that it makes more sense: “The TV flickers on and shows the Korean/Chinese teenager, who spent many years training in America from the age of 15.”

“AJ said already trying out the couch couple feet away from their 42 inch plasma tv. The rest of the guys” (Chapter 1)

            -There should be a comma after “said” and the last part didn’t make sense; maybe you forgot to finish the sentence?

“Here they are, the rookie group that's causing such a contriversary with 1 gender groups, B 2 S T!!!" (Chapter 1)

            -“Controversy” is the correct spelling and the one would work better if it was spelled out

Writing Style: 6/10
-Your writing style is very simple but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it doesn’t really have it’s own personality=p. I would suggest using more adjectives to give better visuals and maybe describe the setting a bit more=).

Characterization: 6/10
-Yes, they are celebrities but because they aren’t that popular yet, a lot of people might not know what they’re like yet. You should show what each of them are like more clearly. The only two that I could distinguish are Mi Eun and Yo Seob.

Communication with Readers: 5/5
-You’re super friendly and enthusiastic about B2ST, which gives off such a great vibe! I’d definetely want to be your friend XD!

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

-Although the idea has been done quite a bit, I’m still a sucker for them=p. All it was missing was a little romance!

Subtotal: 76/100

Bonus: 5/5

I’m giving you full bonus points because…you got me hooked on them! I’ve never heard of them but not I’m in love with them! Especially AJ and Yo Seob *sigh*.

Total: 81/100