Story Title: Could Have Been The One
Author: kibbit
Status: On-going
Reviewer: Juliada3
*Note: I am not prejudiced toward the author or their fanfic in any way, this review is purely objective and is intended to help the author in becoming a better writer.*
Title: 3/5
I don't think that the "the" should be capitalized in your title. Your title also indicates a sad, dramatic, love story. Your story is a love story, but the overall mood is not sad, really.
I don't think that the "the" should be capitalized in your title. Your title also indicates a sad, dramatic, love story. Your story is a love story, but the overall mood is not sad, really.
Forewords: 7/10
Your forewords follow your story, but you could give a better synopsis of the story so the readers get the gist of the story, and know if they want to continue to read it!
Your forewords follow your story, but you could give a better synopsis of the story so the readers get the gist of the story, and know if they want to continue to read it!
First Impression: 6/10
At first glance, your poster and your background gives the indication that your story is happy, which is at odds with your title. The title gave the impression that your story would be a tragedy with a sad ending, but instead it ended with a happy ending. You could change your title to fit with your story so you don't mislead readers.
At first glance, your poster and your background gives the indication that your story is happy, which is at odds with your title. The title gave the impression that your story would be a tragedy with a sad ending, but instead it ended with a happy ending. You could change your title to fit with your story so you don't mislead readers.
Plot/Story line: 12/15
I really liked your plot. Your story had some conventional things in it, but you still pulled through and made it your own.
I really liked your plot. Your story had some conventional things in it, but you still pulled through and made it your own.
Flow: 4/5
Your flow was pretty good. You didn't have really many places where it was extremely obvious that you were dragging or speeding up the story.
Your flow was pretty good. You didn't have really many places where it was extremely obvious that you were dragging or speeding up the story.
Creativity/Originality: 7/10
It was okay, but you didn't have that many creative things in there. There were many conventions, but you did add some things that people don't normally see. If you created some things from your imagination, then your story could improve even more.
It was okay, but you didn't have that many creative things in there. There were many conventions, but you did add some things that people don't normally see. If you created some things from your imagination, then your story could improve even more.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 9/15
You have quite a few spelling mistakes. Your grammar also has some problems. Your vocabulary could also improve, but your punctuation is pretty good.
You have quite a few spelling mistakes. Your grammar also has some problems. Your vocabulary could also improve, but your punctuation is pretty good.
Writing Style: 5/10
You wrote in script style, which I do not like because there is not much room for details and descriptions of the scenes. If you changed it to paragraph style, you could add more details, describe your characters more, and create a better picture of your characters and your story.
You wrote in script style, which I do not like because there is not much room for details and descriptions of the scenes. If you changed it to paragraph style, you could add more details, describe your characters more, and create a better picture of your characters and your story.
Characterization: 6/10
Since you wrote in script style, I did not get a very good characterization of the main characters. I got a few details on them, but like I said, I didn't understand them as well as I would have liked.
Since you wrote in script style, I did not get a very good characterization of the main characters. I got a few details on them, but like I said, I didn't understand them as well as I would have liked.
Communication with Readers: 3/5
The interaction between Ha-neul and her two parents brings sympathy and "awwww" feelings to readers. I really liked that, and there were many moments where she was really cute and brought her parents together more.
The interaction between Ha-neul and her two parents brings sympathy and "awwww" feelings to readers. I really liked that, and there were many moments where she was really cute and brought her parents together more.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I really liked your story. I know you can improve, and make it rock!
Subtotal: 66/100
Bonus: 4/5
Total: 70/100
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