Eternal Euphoria Review

Title; Eternal Euphoria

URL; http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/m_girl07b/

Author; m_girl07

Reviewer; xXSecretsXx @ Untouchable Desires

[ http://untouchable-desires.blogspot.com/ ]

Title; 2/5 - Your title is “Eternal Euphoria” and yet your story is sad. How does that relate? Doesn’t ‘euphoria’ mean happiness? Unless you were going for something ironic, I don’t think the title fits. Something like “One Last Kiss” or “Time Slips Away” would be more appropriate.

[ A/N; okay, I know those title suggestions were really bad. Sorry! I’m really bad at coming up with titles. ]

Poster // Background; 8/10 - The color of your background gives off a feeling of brightness which contrasts with your sad story. Maybe a darker color like gray would have been better. However, the poster is beautiful and fits your story well!

Forewords; 7/10 - Because the story is a short one-shot I don’t think it really required a preview of the story. However, maybe you could’ve put in a little quote that somehow relates to the story? You could’ve made it up or even a famous quote that has something to do with the story.

First Impression; 3/5 - Your poster, background color, and title contrast each other. The vivid background and happy title makes the story seem joyful while your poster gives off a more depressing vibe. Like I said above, a darker color and a sadder title would have been more fitting.

Plot // Story Line; 14/15 -The story was short so I guess it wasn’t much of a plot as it was more of a scene. The scene was good though because you captured Yunho’s emotions and the tense atmosphere. Maybe you could have made it just a bit more suspenseful by making a small incident where Yunho is actually talking to the doctor? Instead of just stating that the doctor said Eunhye was going to die, maybe it would have been better to actually show the dialogue shared between the doctor and Yunho to make it more heart wrenching? [ e.g. Was Yunho in denial at first? Did he accept it sadly, but calmly? ]

Flow; 10/10 - The story was short, but it was good how you still managed to explain how they met and their future plans by making Yunho reflect on his memories. Even though it was short, the story didn’t feel rushed.

Creativity // Originality; 13/15 - I suppose a loved one’s death isn’t an uncommon plot and dying from a cancer [ leukemia in this case ] is even more common, but I still enjoyed reading the story! Maybe you could have made her die from a different disease? Or a freak accident? :D [ okay, I’m kidding about the freak accident XD ] And instead of making her die in a hospital, maybe she could’ve died on the way to the hospital? Or in a dark alley way with robbers lurking around? O.o [ again, kidding! XD ]

Grammar // Spelling // Vocabulary // Punctuation; 9/10 - Practically no spelling errors! Yay! The word processor says that ‘colour’ is spelled wrong, but I know that in certain places they write it like that so technically that’s correct too. The only other one would be the word ‘tocked,’ but even that I think is alright. How else would you describe the ticking of a clock, right? ^^ Everything else was really good!

Writing Style; 10/10 - Writing style is good and easy to follow. ‘Nuff said.

Characterization; 9/10 - Well since Eunhye was just lying on a bed preparing to die, I guess there wasn’t much you could do for her character XD But you made Yunho into the perfect loving and caring husband that everyone wishes for, yes? ;D

Communication with Readers; Well, there isn’t much to say about this . . . yeah, I can’t think of anything XD

Overall Enjoyment; 85/100 – Great writing! :D I really did enjoy the story and it was interesting to read even though it was short ^^

Sub Total; 85/100

Bonus; +5 - I’m going to be just a bit biased here and give you extra points for using Yunho ;D Who doesn’t love DBSK, right? <3>

Total; 90/100