Like a Mockingbird [AM challenge] Review

Title: Like a Mockingbird [AM challenge]

Author: lust;

URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/mocking_lust

Reviewer: nutcracker

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Title: 4/5

Since this is a given (?) title, I have nothing to criticize about. The title definitely has connection to the story, BUT, it’s not interesting enough for me to want to click it until/if I read the forewords.

Forewords: 9/10

Considered okay for a short story, introductions are important. The good thing is that you didn’t give off much of what you’ll be writing, since I didn’t anticipate it to have such a twist in the story; Thumbs up for that.

"Hey, SooJin...even after this...I won't love you...even after death..."
Oppa said with his lovely smile before going off into sleep.

These lines changed it meaning at the end of the story, it was a really nice description.

First Impression: 4/5

The poster could be added with more details, but anyways, your poster had me feel neutralized. It wasn’t too bright, nor too dark, it was just right and I got into the depressing feeling quick.

Plot/Story line: 13/15

I went like okay... to WOW. Like she’s a maniac and obsessed with her boyfriend. I didn’t expect your story to end like that, just a perfectly completed story. Wow, kudos to you, it’s like reading some mystery fiction. I can’t really understand the ending, who clicked of the TV? Wasn’t the main girl dead?

Flow: 5/5

The flow of the story was just right. Though the chapters were short, I was able to infer from what you were writing. Well, stories ARE supposed to be like that right?

Creativity/Originality: 8/10

This is seriously one very creative and original story. Though two pointed views stories are common, but this is one that I have not encountered before, how you described from the girl’s and the guy’s is conveyed very well. I like your creativity, having the girl change from a nice (she’s supposed to be nice in the first chapter right?) girl to a crazy maniac.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 8/10

There were some really unnoticeable errors, until I pasted it in MS word. Anyways, it’s not any major discrepancies.

Writing Style: 5/5

It wasn’t strenuous to read, and the background colour wasn’t in the way.

Characterization: 9/10

The characterization was just great! But was Jonghoon a given character? He seemed like just a random fictional character also.

Communication with Readers: -/10

No communication at all. Maybe since the comments were only a few? Challenges are like that, its either the people would read it because they’re bored or they’ll read it because in the story are their favourite celebrities.

Overall Enjoyment: 12/15

The overall was okay; maybe elaborate more on the aftermath? I don’t really like short stories, since they sometimes end randomly, yours didn’t. It got me to continue read right from the click to the forewords. VERY well written for a first challenge, which was not off topic. I wish you luck in winning the challenge and for your future stories.

Total: 78/100