Tied Fates Review

Story Title: Tied Fates

Author: hydraheiress

Link: www.winglin.net/fanfic/TFF/

Status: On-going

Reviewer: morning_glory

*Note: This in no way is to be taken as an offense against the author or the story. This is an honest review intended for critiquing and helping the story, nothing else.*

Title: 5/5 This title is quite appropriate for your story, seeing as how you show that even though they are not together, their fates are always together.:)

Forewords: 7/10 Your forewords is REALLY long. Maybe you should have made the Prologue as Chapter 1, so then it wouldn’t have seemed too cluttered. You could have just done a short summary, just to interest your readers. And you could have done a more detailed description of each character, just to give us an idea.

First Impression: 10/10 The background and poster do fit with the dark nature of the story; the font is easy to read, which is good.

Plot/Story line: 13/15 Your plot is really fantastical. I don’t think I have seen anything quite like it, which is good. The story line is different, and there does seem to be something important happening in every paragraph, each line, which moves the story along and doesn’t just fill up space.

Flow: 4/5 The flow of the story was at the beginning, kind of slow, when you started it. But it seemed to me that as it went along, the pace increased to a more steady pace, unfolding at a good rate.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10 Even though you adapted this from a manga, you said it yourself that some of this is definitely your idea, so I will give you points for that.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 12/15 Your grammar and punctuation doesn’t really need that much correction, but there were just little things, that you could probably correct if you just looked over it once, and just spell-checked it. Your vocabulary was simple, but since this is your third language, I won’t really take off; just there are more words that you can use out there. :P

Writing Style: 8/10 Your writing style is pretty good for your third language. Even though it’s not flowery, that doesn’t really matter for this story, because it doesn’t really require that much fluff. There’s an adequate amount of both description and dialogue, which is really nice.

Characterization: 8/10 Your characterization of each of your characters is a work in progress; you could have depicted the minor characters more, with a bit more focus on them.

Communication with Readers: 5/5 Very good, you communicated with everyone as much as you could.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5 I like fantasy stories, so this was great to read.

Subtotal: 84/100

Bonus: 2/5 Thanks for requesting from UD! ^^

Total: 86/100