One more, just one more chance

Story Title: One more, just one more chance

Author: mangalover93

Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mangalover93_1/

Status: completed

Reviewer: Linlin Vito

*Note: I may not know the author and vice versa. I am here to review your fan fiction as honest as I can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this; directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. My POV may differ from others. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticisms. Thank you. ^^*

Title: 3/5

--> Maybe you could edit it because it wasn't really that eye-catching. It was quite boring. And it wasn't really the perfect fit for the story. But I think somehow it made a slight connection with it.

Forewords: 7/10

--> It was organized, simple but not eye-catching. Maybe you could introduce the characters (but it's optional) even though you've already done that with the previous story. I love the way you didn't expose your story in the forewords. Brilliant! But the preview; hhm, maybe you add a little more because it doesn't make sense. :)

First Impression: 7/10

--> I subtracted points because of the title and the background. The poster was brilliant but the poster wasn't a match for it. The color didn't blend at all; and maybe you could do something about it. And the length of the story wasn't too long, nor too short.

Plot/Story line: 14/15

--> The plot was really something. I loved it and I like it! No arguments on that one! :D

Flow: 4/5

--> The flow was not too fast nor too slow, but it kinda need a little more details. Maybe adding some to some of the parts of the story will help the readers understand more about the plot.

Creativity/Originality: 8/10

--> Actually, the theme was really common for me, but your version was quite unique. Bravo!

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 13/15

--> Hhm, I saw some wrong grammars and use of fragments/phrases. A lot paragraphs were always stopping in a period, but they shouldn't stop in there- they should continue going or maybe cut into half by some semicolons or slashes.

Writing Style: 6/10

--> I had a problem with you not letting go of the YOU thing in the chapters. It kinda made me think hard and always think that I was on the story. He-he-he. Well, maybe you should change that into something more profitable like, me or mine or I; because it was the character's POVs anyways.

Characterization: 8/10

--> No introduction of the characters in the Forewords. But how they react with each others' actions in the story was really something. :)

Communication with Readers: 3/5

--> The first time I read your story, I thought that it was my POV. Sorry about that; I misunderstood a lot of things. It wasn't that good, but at least you still tried your best on communicating with the readers. I think some of the readers felt what the characters felt on the story.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

--> xoxoxo

Subtotal: 85/100

Bonus: 3/5

--> Because you were the first one to request for a review from me in Untouchable Desires! Thanks :) And because I really did enjoy the story- brilliant!

Total: 88/100