Story Title: Lost in my own world
Author: Markie
Status: Complete
Reviewer: Juliada3
*Note: I am not prejudiced toward the author or their fanfic in any way, this review is purely objective and is intended to help the author in becoming a better writer.*
Title: 4/5
Your title indicates a mysterious fanfic, and it fits the story well. It doesn't give away too much of the story, but also gets people interested.
Your title indicates a mysterious fanfic, and it fits the story well. It doesn't give away too much of the story, but also gets people interested.
Forewords: 6/10
Your forewords have a good synopsis, but you could improve them if you added information about the characters and described them. That way people would understand them more.
Your forewords have a good synopsis, but you could improve them if you added information about the characters and described them. That way people would understand them more.
First Impression: 8/10
It was mysterious looking, and pretty gothic looking. Your poster and background were perfect and echoed the same tone as the title. Your text is in white, so it's really easy to read, which is good.
It was mysterious looking, and pretty gothic looking. Your poster and background were perfect and echoed the same tone as the title. Your text is in white, so it's really easy to read, which is good.
Plot/Story line: 12/15
Your plot was pretty interesting. It had some things in it that made it interesting and made me want to keep reading. Your story had some suspenseful parts that peaked my curiosity. Good job!
Your plot was pretty interesting. It had some things in it that made it interesting and made me want to keep reading. Your story had some suspenseful parts that peaked my curiosity. Good job!
Flow: 4/5
Your story flows pretty well. There weren't any parts that really stood out like events happening too fast or too slow. You did a pretty good job on this. Keep it up!
Your story flows pretty well. There weren't any parts that really stood out like events happening too fast or too slow. You did a pretty good job on this. Keep it up!
Creativity/Originality: 7/10
This story was pretty creative. It's not something you see every day. Your storyline is pretty original and creative, but some of the elements you used were not. You combined all of them together pretty well, but it would be even better if you added something different. If you didn't, then your story wouldn't stand out among the other vampire stories.
This story was pretty creative. It's not something you see every day. Your storyline is pretty original and creative, but some of the elements you used were not. You combined all of them together pretty well, but it would be even better if you added something different. If you didn't, then your story wouldn't stand out among the other vampire stories.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 9/15
You have some words that are capitalized that should not be. You also have a few grammar mistakes. You also have some sentences that have words missing, which make some of them not coherent enough. Your spelling is pretty good, I only saw one or two mistakes. You have an average vocabulary, but you could change up some of your words a little.
You have some words that are capitalized that should not be. You also have a few grammar mistakes. You also have some sentences that have words missing, which make some of them not coherent enough. Your spelling is pretty good, I only saw one or two mistakes. You have an average vocabulary, but you could change up some of your words a little.
Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing style is good. You space in between every couple of sentences, which is good because it helps separate the thoughts out which helps the reader when they are reading it.
Your writing style is good. You space in between every couple of sentences, which is good because it helps separate the thoughts out which helps the reader when they are reading it.
Characterization: 7/10
Your characters are pretty good, but some of them don't seem to have distinct personalities. If you emphasized some of each character's qualities that make them different from the others, then they will seem alive instead of just words online.
Your characters are pretty good, but some of them don't seem to have distinct personalities. If you emphasized some of each character's qualities that make them different from the others, then they will seem alive instead of just words online.
Communication with Readers: 3/5
There were some moments that connected with the reader, like Jaejoong's struggles and Yunho's internal strife about the Fallen. You could add some more moments like those that would make the reader sympathize with your characters, and put themselves in their shoes.
There were some moments that connected with the reader, like Jaejoong's struggles and Yunho's internal strife about the Fallen. You could add some more moments like those that would make the reader sympathize with your characters, and put themselves in their shoes.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I enjoyed your plotline with the Fallen and Jaejoong's past. It was very interesting, and kept me reading. Keep working hard!
Subtotal: 72/100
Bonus: 1/5
Total: 73/100
No comments:
Post a Comment